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19.5.2011, Freyas Cats
Do you know what’s worth fighting for?
Jatketaan edelleen rakkausteemalla, joka edellisviikolla sai hieman syvällisen, mutta kuitenkin pintapuolisen silauksen. Kiitokset Minkille, sain omaan blogiini idean, koska olin enemmän kun jumissa blogini suhteen, mutta luettuani hänen raapustuksensa päätin avata Pandoran Boxin ja kurkistaa sisälle.
”Sulla olis paljon helpompi elämä, jos ottaisit itselles ’normaalin’ naisen/miehen…”
Kuinka moni on sanonut näin? Kuinka moni on ajatellut näin?
Minä olen sekä sanonut, että ajatellut vakavastikin tähän tyyliin, ja voin sanoa, että heikkoina hetkinä ajattelen niin edelleen. Olen jopa eronnut tämän käsitykseni takia, koska olen ajatellut, että pidempi aika minun kanssani olisi toiselle jotain kärsimystä. Tai hän joutuisi olemaan minun kanssani, koska hänellä ei olisi sydäntä jättää minua. Jos hän jäisi luokseni, hän jäisi jostain paitsi eikä pystyisi toteuttamaan toiveitaan ja haaveitaan.
Omistan siten Maria Magdalena -kompleksin? En oikeastaan. Tämä on kasvatustyötä, ihan Home Made Style.
Minut kasvatettiin siihen, että vammaisuus on hävettävä asia ja säälittävä juttu. Jos joku haluaisi seurustella minun kanssani, olisi kyseisellä ihmisellä itselläänkin joku aivosolu nyrjähtänyt, hän käyttäisi hyväkseen, taikka olisi mukana vain säälistä. Kiva kuva eikö?
Kukaan ei koskaan maininnut, että joku voisi oikeasti jopa arvostaa minua itseni takia ja rakastaa minua ihmisenä joka olen. Pitää minusta arvojeni, huumorintajuni ja – herranjumala – Seksikyyteni takia! =)
Niin siis vammaisethan eivät ole seksikkäitä. Eivätpä tietenkään… Ja on se niin Härskiä, jos on vaikka vampin kanssa silleen... ? Ööö ..mmm.. niinköh? Kerro toki lisää? ^^
Toivottavasti tämän kirjoituksen avulla voin ampua alas tiettyjä ”stereotypioita” vammaisten seksuaalisuuteen liittyen. Pahoittelen, jos joudun välistä käyttämään bazookaa, mutta jotkut tabut ovat niin tiukassa, että ne kirjaimellisesti täytyy räjäyttää osiin. Olen kyllästynyt olemaan baarissa seinäruusuna, säälipyttynä ja ihmetyksen kohteena. Jos tunnet samoin, Anna Sille Ääni ja tehdään yhdessä näistä asioista loppu!
Vammaisuus ei tarkoita, että olet sukupuoleton.
Vammaisuus ei tarkoita, että olet automaattisesti aseksuaali.
Vammaisuus ei tarkoita, ettet omaisi myös seksuaalista identiteettiä tai ettet haluaisi ilmaista sitä!
Vammaisuus ei siis tee ihmisestä automaattisesti seksuaalisesti kyvytöntä, halutonta taikka välinpitämätöntä. Olikohan nyt tarpeeksi selväsanaisesti sanottu tämä asia? =)
Meitä, niin kuin teitäkin, on moneen eri junaan: jotkut kuuluvat sateenkaariperheeseen (trans, homo, lesbo jne). Jotkut taas tähän perinteiseen malliin. Jotkut haluavat korostaa seksuaalisuuttaan vaatteillaan, käyttäytymisellään, toiset voivat olla tekemättä mitään sellaista. Jotkut meistä tietävät, ettei vanilja ole vain mauste. Eli siinäkin suhteessa me olemme samanlaisia eikö?
Miksi on sitten niin vaikeaa mennä pokaamaan vammaista naista tai miestä?
Tähän iänikuiseen kysymykseen haluaisin kuulla vastauksen, ihan minkä vastauksen tahansa? Vaikka Canada! Koska se merkitsisi sitä, että tästä voisi alkaa keskustelu ja keskustelu on hyvä merkki alkavalle muutokselle! Asennemuutosta tämä aihe todella kipeästi tarvitsee ja aiheesta puhumista!
Ja jos ME emme itse sitä keskustelua aloita, ei sitä aloita meidän puolesta kukaan muukaan. Koska ”te terveet” olette siihen ehkä niin korrekteja ja ettekä osaisi muka aiheeseen tarttua...
Meiltä puuttuvat esikuvat. Omat idolit, omat seksikkyyden mittarit, omiin tarpeisiimme rinnastettavat ihmiset. Tyhmää sanoa näin, mutta näin rakentuu valtakulttuurikin. Jos meillä olisi muutama kuuluisa laulaja, bändi, julkkis, politikko, bb-tyyppi, seksikäs malli nainen tai mies, asia olisi eri eikö? Silloin valtakulttuurinkin ja suurten massojen olisi helpompi tunnustaa meidät seksuaalisesti haluttavina yksilöinä? Silloin heilläkin olisi jotain mihin meidät rinnastaa tai vertailla. Tämä voisi myös edesauttaa sitä, että asiasta tulisi hyväksytympää. Enää se ei olisi tabu sanoa kaverilleen. ”Tsekkaa tota piparia, jolla on kiva minari ja asenne tuoli jossa on ying yang symbolit renkaissa…” taikka että, ”kato tota sällii, se on pirun hottis, noi rintalihakset on sairaan killerit ja noi hauikset tekee musta täysin selvää...” =)
Nyt siskot ja veljet vedätte ne kaapinne seksyimmät kamat niskaan ja menette rinta rottingilla sinne kaupungille metsästämään seuraavat ihastukset, rakastumiset tai ne mokat =D ihan sama.. Ja ottakaa se Asenne mukaan.
Soittakaa omaa Power-biisiä kajareista loputtomat määrät niin että naapurikin osaa sanat ulkoota. Muistakaa keimailla peilin edessä ja olkaa ylpeitä siitä mitä näette! Liian paljon on sellaisia ihmisiä jotka eivät tunne oloaan hyväksi omissa nahoissaan, en minäkään tunne oloani hyväksi joka päivä! Mutta edes sen kerran kun päätätte painua ihmisten ilmoille, voisitte tuntea itsenne haluttavaksi, pirun hyvännäköisiksi gimmoiksi ja kolleiksi, niin se olisi jo saavutus! Koska se mitä tuntee sisällä, sitä myös näyttää ulos!!!!
Ja mitä tulee rakkauteen. Ei sitä voi itse päättää, mihin alkaa tuntea vetoa. On olemassa ihmisiä jotka ovat rakastuneita ja seksuaalisesti viehättyneitä objekteihin: aitoihin, Berliinin muuriin, taloihin ja herraties mihin.
Ja vaikka en nyt todellakaan tarkoita tätä niin, että me olisimme jotenkin outoja seksuaalisen kiintymyksen ja rakkauden kohteita, halusin vain sanoa, että jos nämäkin ihmiset löytävät jotain elämäänsä, niin kyllä pentele mekin! Arvostus alkaa aina itsestä, sitä voi ja on lupa vaatia itselleen! Anteeksi ei tarvitse pyydellä omaa persoonallisuuttaan, seksuaalisuuttaan tai muutakaan ominaisuutta!
Ja mitä tulee rakkauteen.. Enää en meinaa sanoa, että toisen olisi helpompi olla ilman minua, minä en sitä hänen puolestaan voi päättää tai tietää. Hän valitsi minut vaikka olisi voinut valita toisin ja se kertoo jo paljon se. Mikä minä olen sitä kritisoimaan ja kyseenalaistamaan! Olen hiljaa ja erittäin tyytyväinen ja koetan mahdollisimman tehokkaasti osoittaa kuinka paljon minä rakastan ja haluan kyseistä ihmistä!
Enough said...
Vähemmän ja enemmän vakavasti otettavia linkkejä vammaisuudesta ja seksuaalisuudesta:
Disability and Sexuality, Gary Karp
The Wheelchair Backstreet Boys
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